Chiang Mai
Cooking Class- Ok, so we took a thai cooking class from the cutest woman named Mim. Mim took us to the market and showed us a lot of stuff about thai ingredients. Now we know what all of the stuff we have been eating actually is. Pretty exciting. Then Mim showed us how to cook a bunch of food, and of course, how to eat more food than I ever thought humanly possible. We ate all day long. I seriously thought my stomach might explode. It made me think of Jane's Thanksgiving story when she took the last bite and knew that it had no place to go and then threw it up (and then went back for more pie). That's how full we were. Now when we get home, we can have a thai dinner party. And in the spirit of Thailand, all of the girls will dress up like 16 year old thai hookers and all of the guys will have to dress up like the dirty old western men who come to Thailand to pick them up....

Pai- We took a weekend trip out to a little town called Pai (but pronounced like the word bye). It's a funky little artsy town with lots of live music. We wandered around and hiked out to a waterfall. Of course, in Thailand, women don't walk anywhere so everyone who saw us thought we were crazy. Well, it isn't just women, it's everyone really. I swear that a thai person would drive their motorbike/take some form of a taxi to the bathroom if it were possible. On the way to the waterfalls, we saw what looked like a chicken sacrifice and had women try to sell us drugs. The next day we woke up early and walked (again we got crazy looks and were offered a ride) out to a wat (temple) on a hill. 356 stairs later, we had a nice view of Pai, which would have been peaceful had there not been hindi music blaring as some workers were doing construction. So much for serenity. Pai was nice but the transportation to and from Pai is a little lacking. The road is steep and full of sharp curves and the bus a little sketchy. I couldn't sit forward because there was not enough leg room. There were 28 seats, including the driver, and 40 people on the bus. And then getting home was not so easy either. The bus was actually full and so we got in a type of songtao. A songtao (and I am sure that is not really how you spell that) is a pickup truck with camper shell and two benches in the back. Sometimes they are somewhat comfortable, but this one was not at all because the window behind the bench was so big, I may have fallen out of it if I leaned back. A lot of people told us that Thailand was really easy to get around, but I am not really sure if we are in the same country as those people were talking about. Most transportation scenarios are not simple. We started a tally of how often transport is a pain in the ass versus easy. The easy is not getting many tallies....

Doi Sutep- Back in Chiang Mai, we went out to Doi Sutep which is a sacred temple. It was really interesting. There was a lot going on that I definitely did not understand. There were a lot of thai people, which was nice to see. Transportation there and back got tallies for pain in the ass. Right behind Doi Sutep, there is a national park that we wanted to hike at, and so we thought we would just ask at the temple. And then we got there and remembered that no one walks in Thailand, and anytime we asked someone where we could walk they replied with "No, no. You no walk. Far, very far. Take taxi." Eventually some nice guy told us where the park entrance was (that guy has some good karma coming his way). At the park, there was no one at the information booth and no information. National parks in Thailand appear to be a little different than in the states. We thought we found a trail to some waterfalls, but then had second thoughts about our trail when we walked past the large pile of burning garbage. I don't remember ever seeing piles of burning garbage in our national parks, but maybe I just missed that interpretive sign. We thought the trail might go somewhere so we took it anyway. We were rewarded with a few misplaced signs for the waterfalls and pink confetti trail markers. Again, not what we use in the states, but I guess it serves a purpose. We never did find the waterfalls, but we had a nice afternoon hiking in the jungle following pink confetti (personally I thought the pink confetti meant we were going to find some party out in the woods). That night we got kicked out of the brothel we were staying at for free (it was actually Heather's apartment here in Thailand) because apparently you can only have guests if you are a hooker and the landlord gets a cut. At least I think that is what she was trying to tell us. I don't really know because I don't speak thai. She wasn't talking about meows or moo and that is the extent of my vocabulary.

Crazy Horse Buttress- We spent a day out rock climbing at Crazy Horse Buttress. The climbing shop in Chiang Mai is great. They arrange rides out to the crag and even give you lunch out there. And it's a great crag, very well taken care of. We did some fun climbs and met some diamond geyser climbers. Paco and I practiced our leading skills on some easy 5's (again with the frenchie system). We wish that we could spend more time there, but our visa's are running out.

Phu Chi Fah- We heard about some cool sunrise hike out in Chiang Rai and it's not in the guidebooks. So Paco and I went out to scope out the situation for Heather and friends. We ended up finding out that the hike is only 700 meters (but supposedly very strenuous and you should give yourself an hour to hike it according to a thai lady), and that we needed to rent a car. So we rented some huge SUV on the side of the road. I wish I had our contract that we signed because it was pretty funny. The person who translated it didn't really do the best job and who knows what it really said in squiggles. I can't read squiggles. The best part was when we asked to see the insurance papers and they guy couldn't find them but assured us that in the case of an accident we wouldn't have to pay more than 8,000 baht. I pointed out that that was not stated on our contract and so he had me write it on the side: "Insurance- maximum fee of 8,000 baht in the case of accident." He seemed to think that was sufficient. So we rented a car off the side of the street and drove out to this viewpoint in the middle of the night. The information that we got from people varied a little. We figured that it may take us between an hour and a half to three hours to drive there and from fifteen minutes to an hour to hike up. Well, it was about a two hour drive and fifteen minute walk. Yeah, maybe I breathed a little hard on the way up, but not anything strenuous. When we got to the top, it was full of thai tourists. I only saw one other westerner there. So here we are, at this amazing viewpoint overlooking valleys in Laos and the clouds make it look like a lake and it's just plain amazing. And then you look behind you and see hundreds of thai people shouting and taking pictures. They kept wanting to take pictures with us. We were a novelty. Then we drove around and got a little lost. We drove through some tiny villages and I made a small child cry when trying to play peek-a-boo. Not just a little crying, screaming and wailing for about ten minutes. Apparently I am a little scary if you never see western tourists. So some people want to take pictures with me and others and terrified of me.

Ok, so I know this a crazy long post, but I needed to get all of that out before going to Laos, which we do tomorrow. I am sure that some crazy things will happen there...